I have entitled this blog with a song title that Kate Bush wrote back in the late seventies – in homage to one of my favourite singers of all time, and because it is my blog and I can do what the hell I like – oh and because it is rather apt too.
Well, generally, December is the month of plenty with regards to gigs - unfortunately not this weekend, giving what I know and what I had to deal with I should’ve pulled the duvet over my head and not surfaced until Monday morning.
Friday night was going to be a local gig, at a venue recently played that was very well received previously – I was more excited because my sound system had been upgraded by Cherry – I was like a pig in the proverbial...gadgetry galore and all mine, MINE! Cherry was halfway through getting ready before the bombshell was dropped. I had all the kit up and working (I was pleased that I remembered which cable went where and the system was bouncing with cheesy Xmas tunes), when the organiser said he was cancelling...not a good start to the Xmas season, especially with the possibility of a hernia after lugging the new equipment around...and all for nothing!
However, all was not lost! Cherry had been booked for a gig in London – we don’t get to do London very often and any opportunity is grabbed. The only thing I had not bargained on was the drive straight through London!!! As a West Londoner (that has escaped) and after having worked for the majority of my working career in central London, I vowed never to drive through London again. Well that went to the wall as the dominatrix on the sat-nav demanded I drive straight through, past various landmarks of my career – I pointed out jobs on the way that I had priced for and had been the surveyor on, such as the re-paving of the taxi rank in front of Baker Street tube station; I was awarded a look of non-plussed disregard from hubby, which was interrupted by Miss Whiplash demanding that I drive straight ahead!!! I took the hint, shut up and drove....
The venue was in Hackney - we were met by the organiser and directed to Cherry’s dressing room, which remarkably resembled and smelt like the gents urinal...and was also to be shared with the two strippers...and it was not the most spacious of areas either. After spraying the room with something that didn’t smell like pee, Cherry started getting ready. I made myself busy getting Cherry’s costumes ready, hanging them off the bars of the recently painted windows (tres chic) and ensuring that they didn’t fall into any damp patches on the floor – smelling of pee when you are in your thirties is not a good thing, especially someone else’s.
It was not the most salubrious of venues, even the Ann Summers rep looked like she was tooled up just in case anything kicked off! It wasn’t the easiest of venues either, as it was a huge U shape and Cherry could only manage to play to 50% of the audience at any one time – but worse was to come. The night was marred by someone in the audience stealing £300 from the organiser’s handbag, which in turn amounted to total chaos...I felt like an extra on a re-run of Shameless, and was subject to a major cockney cacophony of shrill inebriated ladies making threats and demands simultaneously, whilst allegations flew left right and centre !!
Needless to say the police got involved (i.e. turned up and looked surly) but as we weren’t under suspicion we were allowed to leave and make our way back to Worcestershire. The drive home was long and the events of the last 48 hours had put a major dent into our Christmas spirits – the London gig being marred by the theft, the cancellation of the Friday gig, our confidence had taken a bit of a shoeing. However, as I genuinely do believe, things can only get better as they certainly couldn’t get worse, but I also do believe that for us and Cherry, December Will Be Magic Again.
